Chaos is consuming me lately. I've been having trouble to really focus on the things I'm doing for many different reasons. The first, and easiest to understand is the "end-of-semester syndrome". Many projects, research deadlines, work deadlines, social deadlines, all converging to very nearby time positions. But this is the easiest one to deal with, actually, because they have a definite deadline. After December 12th everything will be over, independent of the results.

However, I'm really not recognizing myself lately. I've been paying attention to things I never cared before. I've been writing things that I've never thought I was going to write. And I am simply forgetting of my past. Really fast! For example, today I opened one of my email accounts and decided to open the "Sent" folder. Then I saw a "strange" message on the list and decided to open it to remember what it was about. It was a poem that I've written when I went to Brazil the first time after I was here, May 2001 (well, at least that's what it said on the email).

Two things amazed me: the first one is that I really don't have any recollection of writing that. Second and the most annoying one is that I don't remember the person to whom I sent the message! I have no idea who this person was! And it looked like, by the way I wrote the email, that she was a good friend of mine at that time! And it was about 2 1/2 years ago!

Well, if you go back to the past on my blog entries you can see how much everything changed around here. At first I thought I was becoming a better person, more experienced, with more defined goals. Lately I'm seeing that I'm actually loosing who I was. I'm becoming less and less attached emotionally to the world, and I think this is not a good thing.

Anyway, I think I just wrote all this because I didn't have anything else to talk about. Time for me to leave for the Interfaith Dialogue Student Association dinner and find out what it is about... It is an organization made mostly by Turkish Muslims (very nice guys), so I'll see what they have to say. I just know that they suddenly got lots of money to organize this dinner with formal invitation letters and everything.